some believe it takes 21 days to form a habit. as of today, it'll be 20 days without seeing you. i think i'm losing that sense of assurance..that force which keeps me holding on. the last 2 weeks 有多牽腸挂肚..it was like having my heart miles and miles away. but now...i'm worried, terrified that i've already got used to not having you beside me....

it's scary what thoughts are running through my mind, although i have expected all these. not having any topic to talk about kinda intimidates me..losing that sense of passion, excitement and eagerness terrifies me. maybe i'm upsetting myself by always comparing to the past..afraid history might repeat itself..i'm expecting too much.. maybe we should chat less often..

maybe i'm thinking too much....

as if awakened from a perfect dream.. it forced me to think, do i really love you? and..do you? is it all an illusion, one that i blinded myself into?
it made me realise...maybe i don't understand what is love after all.....or is it a necessity to?
it can't be measured by how much tears i cry every night, how many hours i spent thinking of you and our memories... then again, who can objectively explain what is love?

let's keep the faith going dear...
one thing i know, you're always on my mind...♥

想念...是會呼吸的痛...

i really don't know how others do/manage it...but it's killing me. a lil more with every passing day. 3rd goodbye, 2 weeks and it's already wearing me thin... my heart aches as if someone dug it out, my eyes swelling in pain from crying every night and it's as if you've taken a part of me away, i'm lost and don't feel like myself anymore.... leaving myself to think and frustrated why am i not strong enough... why have i fallen so deep....why do i miss you so much.. what if...what if....

this 'training' is far too cruel..much much harder than i predicted..and now i understand the phrase, "you can't live without somebody"

...6 more 2-weeks to go....
i can't wait, even if it's just 10 evenings together, before we'll be separated for another half a year again....

i miss you. such an understatement. ♥